The World Through Her Eyes
by AnnaTheVisitor
Summary: Arianna- Anna- lives in the general world we all see, but no one sees it quite like her. In a world full of pain, will Anna be able to overcome her broken heart to find her true passion? In the story of how her son got his name, follow Anna as her life takes unexpected twists and turns, for better and worse.
1. Gone

The World Through Her Eyes

The story of how her son got his name.

_Author's Note: Please read._

_The characters in this story are ficticious. Any related characteristics or aspects relating to anyone, living or dead, is accidental and unintended by the author. A special thank you to Cydney, Emily, Lilly, Jane, Kelli, Moira, and Brittany for letting me borrow your names._

_Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. All public events and locations in this story are factual. Thank you for your time in reading my story! Please review,_

_~A_

* * *

Chapter 1: Gone

He ran to me, distress clear on his face as I took him into my arms.

"Edward?" Love saturated my voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he murmured in reply.

"You sure?" I could definitely tell that it most certainly was not nothing, but he seemed pretty secure in his denial.

"Yes."

I pursed my lips, resisting the urge to press for more information, and stroked his hair instead. "I love you."

He looked up at me, a smile blooming on his face. "Love you too, Mom."

* * *

The year is 2008. My mother had passed two years ago, and now my father was gone. I stared unseeingly at his grave.

"Anna." Lori tugged at my sleeve. "Let's go."

Ah, Lori. That was a problem. Unfortunately, it was a problem I couldn't wrap my head around. Gone? How could he be gone? My best friend, my stable father figure, there for me since the beginning, the one who taught me how to catch a snake and how to cook a chicken and shoot a gun and raise frogs and draw cartoons... Gone? No. That wasn't possible. Dad wasn't under that mound of dirt. Dad was at home, an evil glint in his eye as he considered how best to prepare the cat for dinner before I catch him. Soon I'll go home and we'll watch TV while staying up till two AM eating chocolate. Gone? Why did everyone keep saying that? Gone... Lori, Joseph, the office, all seemed very insignificant compared to this.

Gone?

"Anna-" -pronounced on-ah by the way- "Mike will be wondering where we are!"

Mike? I looked up from the meaningless sheet of gray rock, only to find the cemetery empty. Where _was_ Mike? Where was _everybody_?

I turned and frowned at Lori. "Mike?" The word was garbled.

"No, no, not your brother Mike. Your _boss_ Mike. Let's go before he finds out we used our lunch hour to attend a funeral. Come on. Atta girl."

Oh. Ugh. _That_ Mike. The rest of the world came crashing down on me, crushing me, threatening a lack of oxygen. I felt incompetent.

"Lori?" My voice was dazed.

"Hm."

"You drive."

* * *

2008 passed that way. It was almost unbearable. My life was empty; every time I realized I was still alive, I couldn't remember the last five minutes of that life. If I could even say I had a life. Life is defined as an active state of mind, capable of thinking.

I did not have that.

I was surprised at what I did have, however, which was a job. Thank God Lori was my boss' niece; otherwise, I'd have been out in the streets months ago...

Time moved quickly. It was autumn before I knew it. What I did know was limited, frozen by the empty void of missing the stable and beloved figure in my heart. Had I become a poet? I hadn't noticed.

Suddenly, I realized my boss, Mike, was leaning against the wall of my cubicle, a yellow mug of coffee in his hand. His spotless white button-down, slightly obscured by a sleek black tie, did nothing to hide his round belly. A ring caught my attention, just a basic silver ring that was not his wedding band...

"Anna!"

My gaze slid back to his eyes, slightly confused.

"Did you hear what I just said?" he demanded, annoyed.

"No, sir," I confessed, and sighed as I hung my head in shame.

"Listen, Anna, I know that your... loss is a devastating blow, but you've got to keep your eye on the ball or you're just not gonna make it! Understand?"

"Yes, sir," I whispered, feeling like an obedient dog.

Mike's expression softened. "Well, show me, then," he encouraged. "Looks like you've got one on line seven."

I lurched for the phone I hadn't noticed ringing, blurting "Customer service, how may I help you" in a falsely perky voice while eying my boss gratefully. He smiled and walked away.

I tried to focus on this lady's problems, really I did, but all I could do was wonder when my life was going to pick itself up and run again... _When had my life gone looney tunes_? I quoted to myself, then flinched. Dad had gotten me that comic. Years ago.

A lifetime ago.

"Hello?" Sybil Chutney's voice was definitely irritated.

_Shit_, I thought, scrambling to collect myself. "I'm sorry, Miss Chutney. Could you repeat the question?" Assuming it had been a question. Lucky for me, Sybil, if a bit crabby, seemed to be cooperative and repeated her question about her insurance loans.

Seventeen more phone calls and twenty-two e-mails later, I sighed with relief, pushing my roll-y chair back and grabbing my purse as the cell phone in my pocket vibrated to signal the end of the day.

"Hey, Anna," Lori smiled at me, her head resting on the arms she had folded on top of my cubicle wall. I gave her a vague assumption of a smile and stood up.

"So, tell me again why you don't just quit, since you hate it here so much?" Lori pressed, looking genuinely concerned for once.

"I told you," I murmured, staring straight ahead. "I can barely afford this month's rent working sixty hours a week without using a sick day. I just can't pick up what I have and try to find a life somewhere else... This is all I have..." My voiced trailed at the end. I couldn't keep my thoughts aligned.

Lori examined me closely.

"What?"

"I'm taking you out, that's what. Tomorrow. After work. Just you and me. We're gonna see a movie!" She beamed like this was the most brilliant idea in the world, as if seeing a movie would change absolutely anything. "Diane just went to go see that one that came out just last week, and she said it was amazing! We have to go see it! What's tomorrow, the twenty-eighth? It's a Friday, that's perfect! This'll be so much fun! I can't wait! See you then, Anna!" We parted ways then, me to my crappy Toyota Corolla and Lori to her Chrysler.

What she could possibly have up her sleeve tormented me. What had come out last week that looked amazing? My mind fumbled; I hadn't been paying much attention to anything the last few months, what with my lack of interest...

Jamming my key into the ignition-I didn't even recall getting in the stupid car- I pulled reverse and headed onto the intersection, away from the dull gray building and towards my apartment.

Crappy doors, I thought, leaning my shoulder against the door to my apartment and shoving it open with a grunt. Walking inside, I hung my key on the hook next to the light switch and flipped it on in the same habitual movement. The front room was instantly illuminated, causing the shadows across the walls to fly back into place. The usual relief I felt at coming home was completely absent, even as I stuck a slice of leftover pizza into the hesitant microwave and threw open the drapes on the west-facing wall. Even as I stared across the lot at the beautiful sunset throwing beams of burnt orange across my light blue walls. Even watching the lavender clouds skid across the sun, the trees in the far distance swaying in harmony to them, evident of a windy November day. This was another thing my father taught me- how to enjoy sunsets.

_Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep_.

_Alright, alright, I hear ya_, I thought, annoyed as I turned away from the balcony and stalked toward the microwave. Damn piece of junk hadn't cooked my pizza all the way, which normally should've bothered me, but by now I was beyond caring. I practically shoved the slice down my throat.

What a crappy day, I thought miserably, glancing back out the storm door. But it didn't matter. Dad... Wasn't coming home. There. I'd admitted it to myself. More than half a year later. My father was under hat pile of dirt twenty miles south and I wouldn't ever be able to see him reading a barbecue cookbook, or enlisting my help in the yard, or clicking his tongue as he watched the news, or pulling up the road in his dusty old red Ranger.

I wiped the tears away before they could saturate my pizza.

And now I know you must be getting bored with my monotonous daily life, so I'll skip my bedtime preparations and even my dreadful time at the office the next day. In fact, I'll pick up right here: Lori making good on her promise.

The Movie

A blast of icy wind was quick to greet me when I walked out of the office with Lori; she was hanging on my arm and guiding me to her car, her lipstick-faced grin revealing a row of yellowish teeth. She released me against the passenger side of her snazzy red automobile, blonde curls bouncing as she crossed the pavement- in heels, of course- to the driver's side.

"So what movie are we seeing?" I inquired, trying to make my voice excited and not really sure if I succeeded.

"It's this new one, and I just know you're gonna love it. It's based on a book, and I know you love books, and it's got some pretty awesome actors, so don't-"

"Just tell me, Lor."

"Twilight."

I couldn't hold back a groan the second the inoffensive word rolled out of her mouth. "Not the one about the sparkly vampires," I complained.

"Oh, hush. You and I both know that even if you hate it, you've got to admit that if the book was good enough to make a movie out of, then at least there's a decent book out there. We're seeing this whether you like it or not." I had a feeling that this movie outing was more for her than for me; she kept up an ever-constant stream of excited-ness the entire way there. Apparently, the highly-anticipated movie was the best thing out, according to Diane and Gina and Rosie and Brooke and Carol and...

I stopped listening after a while.

She was getting on my nerves.

I was going to hate this movie. What was Lorelei thinking? Obviously she wasn't; how was seeing a crappy film going to make anything better? This movie would suck like the vampires in it. I couldn't believe I was doing this. Why? Why? This would be such an idiotic waste of my time! Time I could have spent reading a book or cleaning house or watching TV. A whole 122 minutes. Wasted! But, the entire way to the theatre, the walk across the parking lot, through Lori buying the tickets and popcorn, even upon entering the theatre and taking our seats, I could only keep trying to convince myself to make a run for it... Feign an illness long enough to escape...

"Popcorn?" Lori shoved the smelly bucket beneath my nose.

"No, thanks," I muttered, pushing it away. Lori grabbed a handful and crammed it in her mouth, crunching obnoxiously.

Then the theatre room dimmed, and there were several excited squeals farther down.

Too late now, I thought, settling into my seat as the screen lit.

Lori stopped crunching.

The girls stopped squealing.

The theatre held its breath.

* * *

"Wasn't... That... The most amazing thing?" Lori gushed, chucking her empty popcorn bowl in the bin outside our theatre. "I just loved it. Robert Pattinson is so hot. We have to see that again, right? Oh my gosh that was just so awesome! Didn't you think it was-"

I whirled on her. "Lori, did you even see that movie? How can you even think that? It was the most miserable excuse for a film that has ever hit the big screen. The director must be the biggest fucking idiot on the face of the earth to think that people like pallid lighting, horrible actors, and no basic plot line. That movie was shit, Lorelei! It never even got to a point! They'll have to make four more movies at this rate to finish it off! How in hell can you think anything positive towards that?"

We were by her car. Lori shrank away from me, her eyes wide. "I've never heard you cuss like that before," she said quietly. But she could see that the storm was over, so she straightened up and said, "And don't call me Lorelei." Then she opened her door and slid in behind the wheel.

Was that seriously all she'd heard? I stood outside, quietly fuming for a moment before giving up and climbing in next to her. It really had gotten cold out, especially come nighttime.

We were silent through the car ride home, until she came to my apartment and murmured, "Bye," as I got out without a word.

It was dark when I entered my living room, and I could feel the hormones kicking in as I curled up on the couch. If I hadn't known Lori for twelve years... How had she ever become my friend in the first place? Why did she stay my friend?

I hated stupid people.

Sometimes I hated Lori Syvelle.

Tears were rolling before I even got the TV on, and I couldn't even justify them.

Nor the lack of desire to go to bed.

_More to come. Please review._

_~A  
_


	2. Empty

Chapter 2: Empty

Saturday morning was not much better, thanks to my little night camped on the couch. I had a crick in my neck, and the TV was on to Mickey Mouse Club House. Unfortunately, with the sun pouring in through the window, it was impossible to go back to sleep, and I needed to go grocery shopping anyway. So I dragged myself unwillingly off the couch and into the shower, then eventually in my car and to the nearest Target.

Greeted by the familiar smells of plastic bags and the wondrous sights of grumpy customers, I grabbed the closest shopping cart- it had a squeaky wheel- and began down the aisles, looking for bread first. However, it wasn't until my need for milk took me across the store when I caught sight of a large standee, portraying the main actors from that shit movie Lori had dragged me to last night. I frowned, picking up the book it advertised. It was fairly thick, about five hundred pages, with the cast of the sparkly vampire family on the cover. _Why is this so popular? _I wondered, replacing the book in disgust. I shuddered and resumed my quest for milk.

"So, have you seen the new Twilight movie yet?" asked the cashier conversationally, scanning my orange juice.

I glanced up; a young woman of about my age stood behind the register, her pretty dark skin, a few shades lighter than her hair, making her look as if she'd spent the summer tanning.

But her question made me frown. "Unfortunately yes."

"What did you think?" She chose her words carefully, and peered at me over her glasses.

"I hated it. I think it was a disgrace to the art of filming. It was by far the worst movie I've ever seen and I will now forever hate vampires and the word _sparkle_. It was disgusting." I paused my torrent. "Why?"

Her eyes were on her keyboard now. "Have you read the books?" she asked, ignoring my question.

"No."

She smirked, and said, "Then I really hope you read them. I agree with you one hundred percent that the movie is shit, pardon my French, but I don't believe you'll be able to hate vampires once you read the books." She turned and handed me a receipt. "Thank you for shopping with us."

When I came home from Target, I had a message waiting.

It was from my stepfather, Joseph, the only family I had left.

_Beep_.

"Hey, Arianna, this is Joseph. I just called to see how you were doing; call me back when you get the chance. Thanks, bye."

_Beep_.

So Joe needed to talk to me, now. I frowned; it would be just my luck to find _him_ in the hospital. Another retired family member to take care of...

Was that how I felt? Was I really that selfish? I shook my head at myself and called Joe.

* * *

"The house is so empty without Mom," I whispered, gazing out to the backyard.

"I know," Joe agreed. "It most certainly is."

He paused to sip his tea, and I did the same, tipping the cup back to drain the last of it. "I'm gonna get some more tea; you want some?"

"No, thank you, dear," Joe smiled, lifting his half-full cup.

"Okay."

Coming to this house was nice, especially on a Sunday. The backyard's apple tree was full of fruit at the top where it was too high to pick; the wind whistled through a dozen wind chimes, and chirping cardinals surrounded the birdfeeders. The refrigerator still stuck when I tried to open it, but this was comforting rather than annoying. At least one thing was the same.

I returned to my seat with a full cup of tea and looked over at my stepfather. His hazel eyes looked too young for his wizened face, the brown ring around the pupil no longer matching the dark hair that had long since turned white. He caught me staring at him and smiled without revealing his teeth; the motion invited a thousand more wrinkles to crease his face. I smiled back, wondering if I looked the same to him as I did when I was younger.

He looked away, back out towards the window beside the table, and I followed his gaze to my mom's old garden.

"Sometimes I can still see her out there, tending her roses," Joseph said with a broken hearted smile. Then he turned to me, his expression solemn. "It must be hard for you."

I could feel my eyes glistening, but I refused to cry before this man who had suffered more than I. "Yes," I whispered. "It _is_ hard." I looked down to the cup of tea on the table before my eyes leaked.

"It's hard all around, sweetheart. Just remember, happiness is a choice, and it will always be your decision."

"Thanks, Joe," I said quietly, moving only my eyes to look at him.

He smiled again, and sipped his tea.

Turning Point

The next day at work was a bit easier. Sunday afternoon at my parents' old house had been rejuvenating, and the energy seemed to seep into my Monday. No one had bothered to bother me yet, so that was nice too. There hadn't been very many phone calls to answer, and already it was almost lunch. I half-smiled at my reflection in the computer, brushing my dark hair out of my eyes. I had my dad's eyes.

Maybe things would start getting better.

But, of course, good luck only lasts so long. As soon as it was officially my lunch hour, Lori showed up with her head resting on the arm she had slung across the top of my cubicle.

"Hey," she said, smiling with a bit of apology.

I frowned at her. "How may I help you?" I asked curtly.

"Oh, don't be like that. Come on, look, I got you something to make up for Friday night."

Lori walked around to the inside of my cubicle, and presented to me a book entitled _twilight_. But, instead of portraying the actors I so wretchedly hated, the cover of the book bore a pair of hands cupping a red apple.

My eyes flickered from Lori to Twilight and back again, remembering the cashier's words at Target the other day.

"For me?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Lori beamed. "For you." And she tucked the book into my hands. "Come on. Let's go get lunch. I hear there's this new restaurant a few miles north, and Carol and I wanted to check it out. Come with us." She looked at me expectantly.

I still held the book tenderly, balancing it on my palms. "Thank you, Lori."

* * *

"Oh, come _on_, Lori. Give up on the soda and have a margarita," Carol insisted while Lori deliberated between Coke and some alcoholic beverage that would only deplete her already-near-nonexistent brain cells. "Anna's gonna be driving anyway."

"But it's lunch," Lori objected, though I saw the hesitation in her eyes.

I was never a part of these conversations. Time to step in. "You know Mike'll fire you if he finds out you were drinking before work," I murmured to her.

She pursed her lips, then nodded. "You're right. I'm going with Coke."

"Killjoy," Carol muttered. I shot her a look.

"So," Lori interrupted, effectively changing the subject, "have you started Twilight yet?"

I gave her a wry smile, remembering the enigmatic book set before my computer. "Not yet," I said at the same time Carol shouted, "You're reading Twilight?"

"Not yet," I repeated. "I'm a little... reluctant, considering my opinion on the movie."

"Tell me how it is. I wonder if it's as good as the movie?" Carol and Lori then struck up a conversation discussing their actor preferences and whether or not Taylor Lautner looked like a girl while I ordered for them, answering the waiter they ignored.

"... And a Coke," I finished for Lori. Believe it or not, I was often the one to order for them. They sat so ignorant, wrapped up in their own insignificant little conversations. "Thank you."

My thoughts drifted back to the book in my cubicle, the mystery of it intoxicating. I let my mind contemplate this _Twilight_ while the pair beside me droned on.

* * *

Lying in bed, my bare feet twisted in a blanket, I examined the book once again. The back held a quote from the movie, which I disliked, but if I was being honest, the movie had quoted the book. The reviews were fabulous, and apparently this Stephenie Meyer was pretty fabulous herself. I hesitated, however, to begin reading the book. I was loathe to fall in love with something _popular_, but it had to be popular for a reason, right?

But what if I hated it? What if it was just as bad as its movie?

But what if I loved it?

I fingered the silver title, torn.

Finally, I lost to my curiosity once again, and opened the book.

Changed

"What? You can't be _done_." Lori eyed me suspiciously, seeming disgruntled.

"Lori... I _need_ book two. Where did you find this one? Please!"

My friend continued to judge me with her gaze, then finally answered, "Target. We can go for lunch and be back in time."

"Thank you, Lor!" I uncharacteristically threw my arms around her neck in a hug.

"Enthusiastic much?" she muttered, but Lori seemed pleased that she has made me very happy. Moving away, I hugged Twilight to my chest, resting my chin on the top as I almost skipped back to my cubicle. I had finished the first book in no more than nine and a half hours last night. I should be dog-tired, but instead, I rode a strange, jittery high- I felt happier than I had in years.

But I had to get my hands on the second book! I started fretting, waiting for lunch. What if it wasn't there? What if they were sold out? What if the store was closed? What if we couldn't exit the freeway? What if the planet exploded before I could even find out the title?

Okay, I was being over-dramatic. Yeah. But still! Never before had I seen such beauty, such grace- I _had_ to have the second book. Oh, how I hate cliffhangers! Team Edward? Or team Jacob? I finally understood. But Edward seemed so perfect- Jacob must come back later. In the second book. Urgh! Lunch couldn't come fast enough. Oh please oh please oh please oh please clock hurry up hurry up hurry up hurry up!

"Anna, line two, Anna, line two."

Oh. Huh. Life. Work. How strange.

Tearing my eyes off the clock on the computer, I plucked the phone from its jack and lifted it to my ear, asking how Customer Service could help them, daydreaming about Bella and Edward and vampires as I willed the clock to move faster.

* * *

"I'll meet you here in ten minutes. Be right back!" Leaving Lori at the table, I dashed from the mini Pizza Hut to the book section at the back of the store, eyes scanning for the lovely apple...

There. My eyes glowed at the sight of it, then eagerly flitted to the right of it, lighting upon a black book with a red and white flower, silver letters announcing the title: New Moon.

Reverence. I reached for it, my hand hesitating a few inches away from it, as if afraid that the precious book might disappear if I touched it. But no, this book was destined to be mine, destined to be placed alongside its sister book foremost on my bookshelf. My hand tingled when I pick it up.

I was greedy, eagerly poring over the information on the back, the little preface, the wonderful reviews.

I caught sight of something towards the bottom.

The cover of the first book, with the apple, _Twilight_, this second one, with the flower, _New Moon_, and... A third. And a fourth.

_Eclipse. Breaking Dawn_.

My eyes shot up again, this time to the right of New Moon.

There it was. Eclipse. A broken red ribbon twisted across the black background, the silver letters I'd fallen in love with putting a name to the book I hadn't known existed. And Breaking Dawn to its right, portraying a white queen of chess, a red pawn.

I had the books stacked into my arms and was running headlong down the aisles toward the checkout.

"So, have you seen the new Twilight movie yet?" the cashier asked conversationally, scanning my book.

My head snapped up, and the _same cashier as last time_ was looking intently at me. My jaw dropped, and she grinned.

"I see you've taken my advice. Who got you hooked?" Her eyes strayed to her computer.

Dazed, I shook my head. "My friend. Lori."

She slid Breaking Dawn into a plastic bag and said, "You should thank her. It's opened up a whole new world for you, hasn't it?"

I beamed. "You understand."

She laughed; would I always call her "she"? I glanced at her name tag: Brittany. Brittany laughed, and said, "All of those who bother to open the book and see will always understand." Then she handed me my bag, and smiled.

_More to come. Please review. Thanks,_

_~A_


	3. Done

Chapter 3: Done

_Author's note: A special shout-out to Nicole Megan Uley Black for her highly-appreciated assistance in my FanFiction imparities. Thanks so much,_

_~A_

The most tragic, tear-inducing, devastating words I will ever read or hear will forever be _the end_.

I wept that Sunday, the bitterly cold 8th of December, as I slowly closed the back cover of the final book.

It was over.

It was done.

_I_ was done.

There was nothing left.

Not for them, not for me.

My tears were selfish, but true. Their story must continue. There must be more than this. There had to be relief.

Flipping open my laptop, I typed _twilight_ in the searchbox, hoping for something of value.

And, after quite as bit of fluff about the movie I still hated, my effort seemed to be rewarded: I found a promising site, belonging to Stephenie Meyer. I clicked the link hopefully, curious.

Oh.

_Oh_.

There _was_ more.

Much. More.

Mrs. Meyer, thank you. Mr. Seth, thank you.

They had saved me from insanity.

I pored eagerly over the site, miserable for what I had missed, joyous for all I could have. There was so much; how could I have missed this? How could my insignificant world have blocked this immense world of beauty from my view? I hugged Breaking Dawn to my chest, moving my lip along the hard edge of the back cover. How ignorant I felt! My mind was already planning a new Twilight-revolving life: first, I would reread the books. That would take me a little less than a week. Then read this Midnight Sun, what I had found on the site. It seemed a glorious tribute, and I was extremely eager to read it, but I felt I must become more committed to the Saga before I violated Mrs. Meyer's rights as an author. The thought made me sick, but... _Twilight_...

I would create an account on The Twilight Guide. I would check Stephenie's site every day. I would purchase every Twilight-related thing that came out the second it hit the stores. I would re-watch the movie, and see the rest of them at the midnight premiere. My thoughts flickered to Brittany, the cashier; I would go back and invite her to come with me to the theatre. I nodded to myself; yes, that was good.

The downside to this new obsession, this all-consuming passion, was my budget. I could hardly afford this month's rent as it was; how could I throw this on top?

Oh, Daddy, why did you have to waste your retirement fund on my college education? You've left me with nothing now.

Oh well. I still love you.

Besides... Did I _really_ need Twilight?

I flinched away from the thought immediately, my mind rejecting the idea. I had become a drug addict. Twilight was my drug.

Actually... My lips curved up at the quote in my head.

I was a heroine addict.

And I knew where my supply lied.

After a shower and a change to decent clothes, I grabbed my purse and ran out the door for my car, leaving my Twilight Saga spread in order across my bed.

* * *

"Hi," I began with a slight smile.

"Oh," Brittany said in surprise, raising her eyebrows. "Hi there."

I grimaced, and passed her a box of cereal. "Hi. Well... I was wondering, you know, since we obviously share the same interests, if maybe you'd like to come with me to see Twilight again. I... Finished the series, and I wanted to see the movie with that new light. Sound like fun...?"

Her glasses slid down her nose as she scanned the Cheerios, her expression still a bit incredulous. "I'm kind of working at the moment."

"What time do you get off? Or was that a 'no'?"

Brittany chuckled, and looked up at me, pushing her glasses back up her nose. "I'll tell you what; this Friday? The twelfth? There's a little Twilight Moms thing going on. Do you know what that is?" She continued when I shook my head. "Twilight Moms is this website, where they're all excited about Twilight and love it to pieces and almost every single one is Team Edward. They're going to see the Twilight movie that day. My mom is going, and she invited me, and I think you should come with us. You'll fit in." She smirked and passed me my plastic bag of Cheerios.

"Thanks," I said whole-heartedly. We swapped e-mails and phone numbers, and after a friendly goodbye, I took my leave, feeling renewed.

I had a Twilight buddy.

Friends

Lori raised her eyebrows at me from her usual perch at the top of my drab cubicle. "So what are _you_ all excited about?" she demanded in an almost accusing tone.

I ran the printer. "It's Friday."

"So you have plans?" she pressed.

"Yes," I said matter-of-factly.

"What's that you're printing?" she wondered, distracted, frowning as she eyed the paper I pulled from the tray.

I grinned and turned it to her.

Lori rolled her eyes. "I've created a monster," she said, watching me tape the _Twilight Saga_ picture up on my already-covered wall. "It's all good," I assured her, smoothing it into place alongside some lovely Edward fan art. "And I'm to see the movie again. Just for obsessor's sake."

"I take it I'm not invited?"

Not wanting to be rude, but not really wanting her to be there either, I said, "It's kind of an insider's thing. Sorry, Lor."

She made a face. "Whatever. See you on Monday." Her tone added _bitch_ at the end of her sentence.

I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling as I heard her high heels clack against the tile down the hall, and resumed my Twilight-esque arranging.

I really did like that fan art.

* * *

"This is my mom, Cydney, and her friends Emily, Lilly, Jane, Kelli, and her daughter, Moira." Brittany motioned to them with a grand sweep of her arm. "Mom, Em, Lill, Jane, Moira, Kelli, this is my Twilight bud, Arianna."

I smiled and waved.

"Is this that girl you were talking about at the pet store?" Cydney threw herself forward, peering at me over her glasses. Her reddish-blondish-grayish hair was piled fashionably on top of her head, and she wore a bright Picasso-like shirt.

I liked her immediately.

"No, Mom, that was Shelby," Brittany blushed, looking mad.

"Oh, this is the one from Target," Emily said beside Cydney, assuring herself that her sandy-brown hair was in its place in a style like Cydney's. Her light blue blazer matched her slacks and her eyes, which were surrounded by a halo of mascara. She'd just had her nails done a coral color; I liked her, too.

"Yes," Brittany sighed in relief, half smiling in apology at me.

The small blonde beside Emily laughed and shot a hand forward. "I'm Lilly. My son isn't here, thank God for that, but you'll like him. So, hon, please tell me: you're Team Edward, right?"

I pumped her hand up and down, nodding vigorously. "Yes, definitely!" Lilly had a trilling, pleasant laugh, and it was contagious. A cross hung from a chain around her neck, and she wore a tan leather jacket over a lacy white dress and matching cowboy boots. Her eyes were the color of blue ice, but they were very warm.

"This is Jane. I'm sure we'll all get along great." Lilly released my hand and turned towards who must be Jane, whose hand closed around mine gently, and nodded once with a small smile. Cascades of ashy blonde hair hung in free twirls down her back, and I couldn't help wanting to braid it. She seemed shyer than the others, but not awkward or left out like I usually was. Jane was... _Serene_. But, before I could think through much more than that, a young girl of about sixteen lurched across the row to grab my hand from Jane's and shout, "Hi, I'm Moira, and I just know we're gonna be great friends and it's so nice to meet you and it's so awesome to have a new member of the club cuz Britt is such a push-over and I love the Twilight books and I'm actually Team Jasper because he's awesome like that and what's your name again? By the way I really love your hair-"

"That's quite enough, Moira," said a slightly disapproving lady next to her with the same color hair and eyes as Moira- dark strawberry blonde and brown. Her expression lightened, and she smiled at me. "Hello, I'm Mrs. Fuller, and I'm sure you've had enough of my daughter, Moira." She threw a look over her shoulder at her pouting child.

"Mooommmmmm," Moira complained.

"My name is Anna," I told her quickly, before anything could get out of hand. She turned, thoroughly distracted, to beam at me, saying, "Cool! Anna. So you're part of the club, right?"

"W-well, I'm not a mom..." I said quietly looking around at the hopeful faces surrounding me.

Jane snorted delicately, Emily rolled her eyes- or was it Cydney? Emily in the blue- and Brittany threw her head back and laughed.

"Do I look old enough to be a mom to you?" Her dark eyes were bright with laughter as she tossed her honey-highlighted chocolate hair over her shoulder.

"It's just a title," Emily agreed. "My baby is my chihuahua!"

Cydney howled with laughter. "That barking rat! Yup, that's your kid, all right!" Lilly's chiming laughter joined in with Cydney's, and soon we were all having hysterics.

"Come on, they're ready for the seven-o-clock showing," Jane grinned, gently shoving Lilly forward, who knocked into Emily who bumped into Cydney who fell forward into Brittany who nearly collapsed into me, who still hadn't regained her breath from laughing so hard.

"DOGPILE!" Moira shouted, and I felt a thud alongside several cries and complaints.

"Moira!" Mrs. Fuller shrieked.

"Tickets, please."

Scenario

"Popcorn?" Lilly grabbed as much from the bucket as her hand could hold and dropped it on the napkin in her lap.

"Popcorn?" Moira shook some of the popcorn straight from the bucket and into her lap.

"Popcorn?" She passed me the bucket and grinned.

"Thanks," I said, grinning back. I scooped some into my napkin, and offered the bucket to Brittany on my left. "Popcorn?" I continued the trend. Her teeth gleamed white against her dark skin as she smiled. After returning the happiness, I turned my head back towards the movie screen and threw a couple kernels in my mouth, surprised that I liked popcorn more than I thought I had.

"Popcorn?" I heard Brittany whisper to Cydney. Huh; _popcorn_. It didn't even sound like a word anymore.

It was strange how the scenario had changed. The last time I'd been seeing this movie, I'd been miserable. Now, I felt lighter than I had in months. Now, when the theatre dimmed, I was one of the squealing girls.

Now, I gasped at quotes, sighed with Moira at Jackson Rathbone, giggled excitedly when Edward sparkled, groaned at Kristen Stewart's terrible acting, and, at the end, I was even one of the ones who stood up and clapped.

"I still say it was the shittiest movie ever made," Lilly muttered, tossing her napkin in the trash on our way out.

Jane took a hard pull on her soda, making an empty sucking sound. "Agreed," she said.

"But we love Edward, so we'll deal," I said confidently.

Every lovely face turned to look at me.

I raised my eyebrows.

And was engulfed in hugs.

"Welcome to the club, Anna," someone whispered.

I couldn't remember the last time I had belonged.

By the time I got home, it was late enough for bed, but I couldn't find a single part of me that was tired enough for sleep. Instead... I felt about to jump off the walls! Best to use that energy for good, I decided, stripping the sheets off my bed and throwing them in the washer around the corner. So now I had about an hour and a half of time, and my kitchen was in desperate need of my Swiffer wet-jet. The last time I cleaned it must have been _months_ ago. Usually I would have been depressed at having to work on cleaning my apartment, but now it just felt good to be doing something. When I set on some music on my CD player, I must have looked like one of those Swiffer commercials, dancing around my kitchen with a purple mop. I laughed just because it felt good, shuffling around in my socks.

Today had been so amazing; I couldn't believe the women in Brittany's life, and now they were a part of mine. They had left me by reminding me to text Brittany or Moira about Kelli's birthday on the seventeenth, next Wednesday, and we would plan a party that weekend. I couldn't believe my good fortune; so many people I had been able to connect to, drama-free people who made me laugh for once instead of scowl, friends with gossip and happiness and a contagious care-free aura. I looked forward to meeting Lilly's son, Matthew, Emily's chihuahua, Peaches, Moira's little brother whom she called Toad. According to her, "he looks like Kristen Stewart in boy form and sits in front of the PlayStation 24/7".

With a final sweep, I was wishing I had more to clean.

Luckily for me, there was never a lack of things on my to-do list; by the end of an hour, I had the countertops wiped, the dishes in the sink hand-washed and put away, the storm door glass cleaned, the laundry from the washer to the dryer, and the TV dusted. (I know what you're thinking. Why dust a TV? Well, if you have to ask, then you've never owned one.) But now the dryer was going, and I really had nothing left to do but vacuum, and since I couldn't do that at ten o clock at night, I was forced to resort to doing what only someone like me would do:

I would reread Twilight.

And that was fine by me.

Stealing the precious book from my bedroom shelf and carrying it into the living room, I sprawled across my couch and turned the front cover open.

I took my time now, committing each page to my memory, each idolized phrase, every documented movement. Already my energy high was deteriorating, settling into a lovely calm even as my heart raced with Bella's.

Four chapters later, the sheets were warm when I pulled them out of my dryer, and I screwed making my bed in favor of sleeping on the couch in a cozy little cocoon of light blue sheets.

I sighed, happy, and hugged Twilight to my chest like a teddy bear.

It was a very peaceful night.

* * *

The office was less dark.

It was as if a veil had been removed from over my eyes; suddenly, I could see everything.

Had the walls always been so bright?

How long had Max been in the cubicle across from mine?

Had the smell of coffee always been that potent?

It was so strange, like waking up and seeing all of this like I hadn't been working here for the past five years. A sheet of contentment had been cast over my life, but instead of cloaking, the sheet was revealing. There was much more happiness than I had been aware of; the world was much brighter than I'd thought.

Had my roll-y chair always had that squeak?

The phone rang, and I plucked it from its jack without a thought, tucking it to my ear.

"Customer service, how may I help you?"

My boss, Mike, rounded the corner with his usual yellow mug of joe, and looked over at me. I raised my eyebrows, surprised as he took a double take. Was my happy-aura that noticeable?

"Yes, thank you Mr. Morgan. I'll send your report in immediately."

Replacing the phone, I watched as Mike leaned on the wall of my office.

"Well, Anna," he said, smoothing back his slick black hair. "Well, well."

"Have I done something wrong?"

"No, no... What have you been up to, Anna?"

"Just the usual, sir... Answering phone calls, responding to and channeling e-mails..."

"No, no, outside of work, Anna."

Had he always began every sentence with "No, no" and ended them with my name?

"I've been... Reading. And... Making new friends." The corner of my mouth twitched up when I remembered the Twilight Moms.

"It's done you good."

"Thank you, sir."

"Keep up the good work, Anna."

I half smiled, and he walked away, sipping his coffee.

How much had Twilight changed me? Was it the source of my new positive outlook? Thinking back, if I hadn't gone to see that shit movie, I wouldn't have met Brittany, or read the books, or met the Twilight Moms. Surprising; I hadn't expected such a change.

But I channeled another e-mail, smiled at my Twilight Saga fan art, and touched the picture of Dad and me on my desk.

Lunch was only an hour away.

_More to come. Please review._

_~A_


	4. Plans

Chapter 4: Plans

_Author's note: This chapter does include some other elements, and I'd suggest knowing a bit about The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine and The Secret Garden, a movie directed by Aznieszka Holland in 1993. Otherwise, it might not make much sense. Also, a special thank you to my faithful reader, gaaragirl202. Thank you for cheering me on to continue writing._

_~A_

"So, what should I get Kelli for her birthday?"

Brittany's eyes shot up over her glasses, and when she saw me, she smiled. "We have a sale on hair shampoo in aisle twelve."

I laughed. "Well, if you really think so. Should I get Loreal Kids in Kelly Green Apple?"

It was Brittany's turn to laugh. "You totally should. Moira would love it."

"Unfortunately, it's Kelli's birthday, not Moira's, so damn, but I'm sure we'll come up with some pretty creative things when that rolls around. What is everyone else getting her?"

"I'm not sure; what's today, Tuesday? The party's on Friday, but we're surprising her with a dinner out to Chili's tomorrow."

"The one across the toll road?"

"Yup."

"What time?"

"Seven. What I figure is that we'll make her drink a hell of a lot of rootbeer, and when she goes to the bathroom, we'll all gossip about what we're getting her."

"That's genius!" I cried.

She grinned. "So you'll be able to come tomorrow, then?"

"Definitely! So does this mean I won't be able to get her her present till then?"

"Definitely. So does this mean you're going to pass on the shampoo sale?"

"Definitely. So does that mean I'm subject to getting thrown out of the store? I am holding up the line after all."

I glanced behind me; not a soul in sight.

"Yeah, you better get outta here before the crowd gets unmanageable." Brittany rolled her eyes.

I grinned. "So just making sure, I am coming to the Twilight Moms soirée tomorrow at Chili's? Or-"

"No, you'd better come. Moira will kick your butt if you don't."

"Oh, better not aggravate her then. I hear Converse are really hard."

"Then I'll see you then, unless you need hair shampoo."

"Nah, I'm good," I smiled. "See you."

It was almost eight AM when I got into my Crapmobile; good thing the office wasn't too far away.

I could somehow always count on Brittany to be at Target; she really was becoming my best friend.

On the words 'best friend,' my thoughts automatically flickered to Lori. What had happened with her? The last time we'd really talked was last Friday, and it hadn't exactly been on good terms... What was to become of her?

Selfishly... I wondered if I really cared. My new life had brought new realization. Lori had never been a friend to me. She was an unhealthy friend to keep. I trusted Brittany more than I trusted someone I'd known for twelve years. Wasn't that sad?

I must let go of Lorelei. She was not good for me.

Besides, I agreed with myself, I would just be holding her back. She and Carol can get more margaritas without me.

I nodded to myself, pleased as I walked into the office. It was warmer inside, and I shed my jacket on the way to my cubicle, feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Yes; my life was taking a turn for the better. The sense was stifling, as though I'd had cotton pulled from my ears.

The heater stuttered on, and I reveled in the warmth, taking in the happiness of my little space. It seemed only natural that I should be the one to answer that phone call, open that file cabinet drawer, smile at my lovely fan art.

Life can be good, I decided, and imagined myself moving from mourning to morning.

* * *

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Kelleeeeeeee, happy birthday to yoooouuuuuuuu!" Everyone laughed and clapped at Kelli's embarrassed blush, and she scowled at us as she stabbed her molten lava cake with a spoon.

"You guys," she muttered, but I could see the delight in her eyes. I couldn't stop grinning, and Moira, next to her mother, seemed to be having the same problem. Our eyes met, and our smiles widened.

"I don't know about y'all, but that cake looks too good to leave _just_ to Kelli." Lilly grabbed a spoon and made a dive for it.

"Hey, lay off!" Kelli giggled, fending off Lilly's hand. Soon, however, we had all found a utensil and were madly trying to get a fair share of cake. It was gone in two minutes.

"Well, that coulda lasted longer," Cydney frowned.

"Yeah, I'm still hungry," Moira piped up.

"Naw, man, that was perfect," I disagreed, settling back in the booth and laying a hand on my stomach.

"Well, if you ladies will excuse me, I'm going to run to the bathroom." Her mouth turned down. "That was a lot of root beer."

Brittany and I exchanged a glance and a snicker.

As soon as Mrs. Fuller was safely inside the restroom, however, we leapt to business.

"I am getting her the Twilight official movie companion," Emily said firmly. "No arguments."

Lilly nodded. "That's good," she said. "I'm getting her a gift card to Barnes and Noble."

"She'll like that," Jane commented. "I'm not sure what to get her yet; I was thinking one of those special-edition Twilight movie magazines? And maybe a poster?"

"Oh, Target has those magazines," Brittany told her. "And I'm bringing the cake, of course, and one of those bracelets like Kristen had in the movie."

"What kind of cake?" Moira inquired, sidetracked.

"Chocolate," Brittany grinned, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Advice: should I have the cake people print on a picture from the movie like on the site, or do one of those layered cakes with the Saga design?"

"Oh, that's tough," I bit my lip.

"Perhaps have a picture printed on top, with Saga designs around it and on the sides," Emily offered.

"Oh, that'll look great," Lilly chimed in.

"Mom's buying the frosting," Brittany smirked. We all turned to Cydney.

She nodded, serious for once. "I can do that. And I'm getting her a salon thing. In my defense, they can do Twilight manicures."

Moira grinned almost evilly. "I'm getting her a bouquet of red and white roses, and black if they have 'em, with these little Twilight things I'll print out like an apple and a tulip and a queen of chess and then I'll wrap a red ribbon around the vase and it'll look awesome!" Here gaze fell on me. "What're you getting her?"

I opened my mouth to reply that I still had absolutely no clue whatsoever as to what to get Kelli for her birthday, but at that moment, Mrs. Fuller returned.

"Are we ready then, girls?"

We snatched up our purses and fumbled with leaving a tip and grabbing leftovers.

I shut my mouth.

* * *

CafePress is magic.

I found some of the most amazing things there, like you wouldn't believe.

I had no idea people could be so clever with Twilight! "Jacob Black, I want to La Push you off a Cliff!" I laughed out loud at that one. Eventually, I found one that was about perfect; a black t-shirt with red and white swirls and sparkles, proclaiming _Twilight_ in lovely scarlet. But something was missing; before I ordered the shirt for Kelli's birthday, I mulled it over, wondering what I could possible add. It was a while before I finally put my finger on it.

I ordered the shirt for seventeen dollars.

And ran to the Michaels off Belt Line Road.

Kelli's present would arrive on Friday, the day of the party, and hopefully I'd have time to write _Mom_ on it under _Twilight_ in fabric paint and wrap it up before I left. As it was Wednesday night, I could also pick up a CD at the mall tomorrow... Why hadn't I thought of that before? The Twilight movie soundtrack. Assuming she didn't have an iPod, it would be perfect. I beamed as I set out the bed, glancing at the clock proclaiming in bright neon colors the time, 10:37 pm.

Snuggling between the blankets, I closed my eyes in content anticipation for tomorrow.

A familiar laugh sounded behind me, and I whirled to the sound.

There was no one.

It rang again, and again I spun to find its source.

And again, there was no one.

"Anna," a voice breathed from behind me, but this time I did not turn.

Sunlight beat down from a blue sky ringed with clouds, warming bright green grass swaying to a gentle breeze. The meadow was circled by trees and dotted with purple and white flowers; I could hear a brook babbling in the distance.

"Arianna," came another voice, but this one was different.

"Mom?" I followed the call, yearning twisting in my chest.

"Over here," it sighed, coming from the trees.

Determined to find the voice belonging to my mother, I strode purposefully toward the thick woods.

"No, Anna," whispered a different voice from behind me. "Come this way."

It was Moira.

"Anna!" I could not resist the pull of my mother's voice.

"Anna!" Lilly's voice was pleading, and it was difficult to ignore her, though I could not see her.

"Come here, sweetheart," Mom beckoned from the forest. My head flashed from side to side, so confused.

"Come on, Anna," I heard Brittany insist from the meadow. "Be safe."

The words made me shudder, and I couldn't place why.

From the trees: "I've got something for you. Come on." Then my name was sung from all around, the syllables stretched out, the sounds overlapping so I could no longer place voices, "Arianna" flying in a way that reminded me of _The Secret Garden_, when that man was having a dream and his wife called to him, "I'm in the garden... The garden... I'm in the gar- I'm in the garden..." again and again and again...

Haunting.

"Arianna, come this way."

My head swung to the woods.

"Dad?"

Begging resounded from the meadow, the voices of my friends calling me back to the beauty of the clearing, but I no longer heard them. My feet carried me to the edge of the trees, and I peered in through the branches.

"Dad?" I called again, taking a step into the forest.

"Anna, no!" "No, Anna, _no_!" "Anna, don't!" "No! Come back!" "Anna!" "Anna, don't listen!" "Anna, please!" "Arianna, no!"

I could name every voice that came from behind me, all of my Twilight friends, even Lori.

But it didn't matter.

"Mom? Dad?" I slipped into the woods, my feet crunching on dead leaves as I tried to avoid the roots reaching out to trip me.

"Arianna," his voice sighed, leading me further forward. I was losing the warmth of the sun and the babble of the brook, even my friends' voices. Soon, it was cold enough to make me shiver, and the trees had no leaves.

Then I saw my mother, young like she was when I was sixteen, her blue-green eyes reflecting the light of the sun, which fell in a single ray on her.

"Mom!" I lurched forward, my eyes on her and not the ground, and I tripped on a tree root.

When I looked back up, she was gone.

"No," I whispered, picking myself up off the forest floor.

The front of my shirt was covered in dead leaves, but I didn't care. In three bounds I was in the spot where my mother had been, but the sunlight was gone. I whirled around and around, trying to find someone. When I stopped spinning, it was completely silent, and I was completely disoriented.

There weren't even any footprints.

I heard a twig snap to my left, and I spun to the sound.

There was my father, walking at a measured pace about ten yards away.

My eyes went wide; that was an understatement. They felt about to fall out of my skull. I opened my mouth to call to him, but no sound came out. My feet carried me forward without my telling them to; I was behind him in half a minute.

"Anna, no!" I spun, distracted. The girl running toward me was clearly Moira, but it wasn't her. She was familiar, but I couldn't place her. "It's not leaving footprints!"

Suddenly, everything went spinning off into a different direction. The girl was Meryl, from a book I had read as a child, The Two Princesses of Bamarre. And I wasn't following my father; it was a specter.

I drew the sword at my belt, and thrust it toward the monster.

"I have unveiled you, Specter! Give me your prophecy!"

As the ghost turned, it laughed, and chills ran up my spine; it was my father's laugh. "You have not unveiled me!" It laughed again, and began to fade.

"Meryl!" I leapt back and shoved Meryl toward it.

"Will my sister find true love?" She glared menacingly at the transparent figure, willing it to stay.

The specter tossed back its head and laughed scornfully. "She shall find her love in the arms of an unexpected, and all shall be as she deserves."

Meryl and I turned to each other with wide eyes, and when we looked back, the ghost was gone.

I strode toward the spot where it had stood a moment before, and the ground disappeared beneath me.

I fell.

I awoke with a start, my head spinning uncontrollably, and I had the worst feeling that I had landed in my bed from a great fall. Breathing hard, I wiped the cold sweat off my forehead and glanced around in the dark; I had bolted upright in bed and kicked the sheets to the floor. For what, I couldn't imagine; I must have had one hell of a dream.

Something was echoing in my ears, my name being called from all around, the vowels pulled out and overlapping.

I shuddered and fell back on my pillow, which was soaked in sweat. Flipping it over and sweeping the sheets back on the bed with my feet, I snuggled up, trying to control my trembling.

I wished I could remember my dream.

My eyelids began to droop, my mind to drift, and my last conscious thought was a hope for a peaceful night...

_More to come. Please review._

_~A_


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